Not because of the glitter stuck in places glitter should never be. Not because Rico kept humming “It’s Raining Men” every time he walked past him. Not even because he found a flake of holographic confetti in his toothbrush.
No.
Jonah was plotting.
And the next morning, vengeance arrived with the quiet hum of a soldering iron, a suspicious package of cheap Halloween props, and a laptop full of MIDI mappings.
Gabriel was the first target. Of course he was.
While the black-furred werewolf snored peacefully in the bunk above, Jonah spent three hours surgically modifying Gabriel’s pedalboard. He didn’t touch any of the critical tones—Jonah respected music too much for that. But every time Gabriel toggled the distortion channel…
Fart noises.
Wet, echoing, slow-motion fart noises.
Custom-mapped to his tone stomp. Through the arena PA. Complete with bass boost.
Showtime. That night. Kansas City.
Thane was dialed in at FOH. Mark was stalking the lighting rig with laser focus. Maya was shredding. Rico was slamming out the opening beat of “Hollow Heart.”
Gabriel, center stage, flipped on the distortion…
PPPPPPBBBBBBTTHHHHHHHHHHH.
The crowd fell silent for a full second.
Then roared with laughter.
Gabriel froze.
He toggled the pedal again.
BRRRAAAAAPPPPP-P-POP.
He spun around. “WHO DID THIS?!”
Jonah was behind the drum kit, smirking like a war criminal.
Rico actually fell off his stool laughing. Maya missed a chord. Even Mark paused the light cues, a clawed hand to his face.
Thane, over the comms:
“I swear to every moon that ever shined, I will end all of you.”
Backstage. Later.
Gabriel cornered Jonah with a half-full bottle of Fireball and a feral grin. “Okay. You got me. That was genius.”
Jonah narrowed his eyes. “We’re even?”
Gabriel tilted his head. “Even?”
And dumped the Fireball over Jonah’s head.
Jonah screamed. “MY EYES. IT BURNS.”
Somewhere in the shadows of the arena, Maya scribbled in a little black notebook labeled: ‘Prank Ideas.’
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