The tour van coasted through the tree-lined streets of Oakridge, a picturesque college town so charming it practically had a degree in wholesomeness. Brick buildings gleamed in the late afternoon sun, bike racks overflowed, and students wearing beanies and earbuds walked in clusters, sipping cold brew and quoting Nietzsche.

Thane squinted at the navigation app. “This can’t be right.”

Gabriel leaned between the seats, tail twitching with curiosity. “Says the event is at the ‘Simmons Cultural Auditorium.’ Sounds… fancy.”

Mark growled from the back seat. “If we’re playing next to a guy giving a lecture on butterfly migration again, I’m not responsible for what happens.”

The van turned onto a narrow service road and pulled behind an ivy-covered building. A banner flapped overhead in awkward, cheerful font:
“OAKRIDGE UNIVERSITY PRESENTS: INSPIRING MINDS SERIES — TONIGHT ONLY!”

Underneath in smaller print:
Featuring Feral Eclipse

There was a pause.

Maya leaned forward, staring out the window. “…Please tell me that’s the name of a student poetry collective.”

Jonah slowly lifted his head off the window, blinking. “Oh no. They think we’re here to speak.”

Cassie, staring at the banner, deadpanned, “Well I do inspire minds. Mostly to run.”

Rico pulled a laminated event pass off the dashboard and read aloud:
“‘An immersive evening of empowerment, artistic expression, and the creative voice in modern society.’”
He turned to look at Thane.
“…Bro. We’re opening with Blood Moon Breakdown.”

Thane just muttered, “Kill me.”

Inside, things got worse.

The “green room” was stocked with vegan muffins, herbal tea, and a collection of pre-highlighted books on mindfulness. A student volunteer named Braeden with an undercut and ironic Crocs handed out personalized name tags.

“Just wear these on stage, yeah? Helps the audience connect with you emotionally.”

Gabriel’s tag read:
GABRIEL – BASS / TRANSFORMATIONAL ENERGY LEADER
He was thrilled.

Thane’s tag:
THANE – SOUND TECH / AURAL ARCHITECT
He immediately crumpled it and shoved it in his pocket.

Mark stared at his:
MARK – LIGHTING DESIGNER / EMOTIONAL CONTRAST SPECIALIST
“…I will burn this building down.”

Ten minutes before showtime, a soft-spoken organizer approached.

“We’re so excited to have you all. Just a quick note—no pyrotechnics, no flashing lights, and please keep the volume below 85 decibels. We’re still within library hours.”

Cassie stood there in full leather, mic in hand.
“…You know I scream for a living, right?”

The woman beamed. “That’s the spirit!”

Showtime.

They walked out onto a fully seated auditorium stage—no pit, no fog, no lights. Just polite clapping from two hundred students holding complimentary stress balls.

Gabriel took the mic and cheerfully declared, “We are Feral Eclipse—and we are not your usual lecture!”

Then he slammed into a bassline so filthy it made Braeden drop his reusable water bottle.

Maya launched into the rhythm guitar part like she was starting a riot.

Rico’s solo tore through the auditorium like a sonic earthquake.
Cassie let out a bloodcurdling scream halfway through the chorus.
Someone in the third row fainted.

Jonah, grinning like a demon, smashed through the bridge and howled into the breakdown. One of the professors actually stood up and cheered.

And Thane—offstage—cranked the mix past 100 decibels.
Library hours be damned.

Afterward, the event organizer approached, shell-shocked and smiling.

“That was… not what I expected.”

Cassie, still panting, wiped blood off her lip ring. “You’re welcome.”

Braeden handed Gabriel a tote bag. “Here’s your honorarium. Also, like… what are you guys doing later?”

Gabriel blinked. “Uh. Sleeping?”

Rico took the bag, peeked inside, and muttered, “Cool. They paid us in granola bars and bookstore gift cards.”

Mark just stared at the ceiling. “We should’ve played the frat party.”

Thane, arms folded, nodded. “Next time someone offers us a ‘cultural engagement opportunity’—we say no.”

Gabriel leaned on him, grinning wide. “But we did inspire minds.”

“Yeah,” Thane said. “To invest in better earplugs.”