Location: The Tour Van, Somewhere Outside Denver. Time: 2:47 a.m. The War Room.
The van’s overhead lights were off. The others were asleep. The hum of tires on the freeway created a white noise blanket.
But in the very back of the van, beneath a makeshift blanket fort of hoodies and empty merch boxes…
…sat three absolute gremlins.
Maya, cross-legged, scribbling frantically in her prank journal. Gabriel, perched on a cooler like a caffeinated gargoyle, a Sharpie in each hand. Jonah, hoodie up, arms folded, glitter still in his ears, eyes haunted.
“This ends now,” Jonah whispered, glaring at both of them. “Or I go scorched earth.”
Gabriel grinned, wild and fangy. “Scorched earth sounds fun.”
Maya leaned forward, eyes gleaming like a dragon plotting arson. “You two amateurs forget—I’ve literally superglued a tour manager’s shoes to the ceiling of a club bathroom.”
Gabriel snorted. “You were kicked out of Tijuana twice.”
“Three times,” she corrected. “One involved a goat.”
Jonah held up a finger. “Okay, focus. We call a truce, we go out in one glorious blaze of prank-fueled glory, together. No casualties. Well—maybe Thane’s patience, but that doesn’t count.”
Gabriel raised a brow. “What’re we talkin’? Glitterbombs in the XLR cables? Hair dye in Mark’s shampoo?”
Jonah leaned in. “We fill the fog machines with scented mist. Like… lavender and beef jerky.”
Gabriel’s eyes lit up. “We make the audience think we’re summoning a werewolf yoga class and a barbecue.”
Maya scribbled fast. “We install Bluetooth speakers under every bunk. Play random wolf howls at 3:00 a.m. every night until someone cracks.”
They high-fived. The unholy pact was sealed.
From the bunk behind them, Thane’s voice growled low and cold.
“If you glue anything else in this van, I will rewire your toothbrushes to play Nickelback.”
{"id":"2","mode":"form","open_style":"in_place","currency_code":"USD","currency_symbol":"$","currency_type":"decimal","blank_flag_url":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/blank.gif","flag_sprite_url":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/flags.png","default_amount":500,"top_media_type":"featured_image","featured_image_url":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/TW-Logo-100px.png","featured_embed":"","header_media":null,"file_download_attachment_data":null,"recurring_options_enabled":true,"recurring_options":{"never":{"selected":true,"after_output":"One time only"},"weekly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every week"},"monthly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every month"},"yearly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every year"}},"strings":{"current_user_email":"","current_user_name":"","link_text":"Leave a tip","complete_payment_button_error_text":"Check info and try again","payment_verb":"Back the Pack","payment_request_label":"Three Werewolves","form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","general_server_error":"Something isn't working right at the moment. Please try again.","form_title":"Help Us Keep This Wild\nShow on the Road","form_subtitle":"Funding werewolf mayhem one\nespresso shot at a time.","currency_search_text":"Country or Currency here","other_payment_option":"Other payment option","manage_payments_button_text":"Manage your payments","thank_you_message":"\u201cSeriously, you rock. We\u2019ll try not to blow anything up with this.\u201d","payment_confirmation_title":"Three Werewolves","receipt_title":"Your Receipt","print_receipt":"Print Receipt","email_receipt":"Email Receipt","email_receipt_sending":"Sending receipt...","email_receipt_success":"Email receipt successfully sent","email_receipt_failed":"Email receipt failed to send. Please try again.","receipt_payee":"Paid to","receipt_statement_descriptor":"This will show up on your statement as","receipt_date":"Date","receipt_transaction_id":"Transaction ID","receipt_transaction_amount":"Amount","refund_payer":"Refund from","login":"Log in to manage your payments","manage_payments":"Manage Payments","transactions_title":"Your Transactions","transaction_title":"Transaction Receipt","transaction_period":"Plan Period","arrangements_title":"Your Plans","arrangement_title":"Manage Plan","arrangement_details":"Plan Details","arrangement_id_title":"Plan ID","arrangement_payment_method_title":"Payment Method","arrangement_amount_title":"Plan Amount","arrangement_renewal_title":"Next renewal date","arrangement_action_cancel":"Cancel Plan","arrangement_action_cant_cancel":"Cancelling is currently not available.","arrangement_action_cancel_double":"Are you sure you'd like to cancel?","arrangement_cancelling":"Cancelling Plan...","arrangement_cancelled":"Plan Cancelled","arrangement_failed_to_cancel":"Failed to cancel plan","back_to_plans":"\u2190 Back to Plans","update_payment_method_verb":"Update","sca_auth_description":"Your have a pending renewal payment which requires authorization.","sca_auth_verb":"Authorize renewal payment","sca_authing_verb":"Authorizing payment","sca_authed_verb":"Payment successfully authorized!","sca_auth_failed":"Unable to authorize! Please try again.","login_button_text":"Log in","login_form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","uppercase_search":"Search","lowercase_search":"search","uppercase_page":"Page","lowercase_page":"page","uppercase_items":"Items","lowercase_items":"items","uppercase_per":"Per","lowercase_per":"per","uppercase_of":"Of","lowercase_of":"of","back":"Back to plans","zip_code_placeholder":"Zip\/Postal Code","download_file_button_text":"Download File","input_field_instructions":{"tip_amount":{"placeholder_text":"How generous are you feeling, rockstar?","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How generous are you feeling, rockstar?"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How generous are you feeling, rockstar?"},"invalid_curency":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How generous are you feeling, rockstar?"}},"recurring":{"placeholder_text":"Recurring","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Want to make this a recurring disaster? How often?"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Make this a recurring disaster. How often?"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Make this a recurring disaster. How often?"}},"name":{"placeholder_text":"Name on Credit Card","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please enter the name on your card."}},"privacy_policy":{"terms_title":"Terms and conditions","terms_body":"By submitting a tip, you hereby acknowledge and consent to your funds being used for (but not limited to): glitter procurement, espresso rationing, emergency cable replacement, and the continued operation of our emotionally unstable fog machine, Misty Beast IV. You waive all rights to complain if your name is later bestowed upon said fog machine, or if Gabriel howls in your general direction as a show of gratitude. No warranties are expressed or implied, except for the guaranteed delivery of chaos, noise, and unfiltered werewolf nonsense.","terms_show_text":"View Terms","terms_hide_text":"Hide Terms","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."},"unchecked":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please agree to the terms."},"checked":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."}},"email":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"not_an_email_address":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Make sure you have entered a valid email address"}},"note_with_tip":{"placeholder_text":"Your note here...","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"not_empty_initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"saving":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Saving note..."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Note successfully saved!"},"error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to save note note at this time. Please try again."}},"email_for_login_code":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."}},"login_code":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."}},"stripe_all_in_one":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"success":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"invalid_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is not a valid credit card number."},"invalid_expiry_month":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration month is invalid."},"invalid_expiry_year":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is invalid."},"invalid_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is invalid."},"incorrect_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incorrect."},"incomplete_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incomplete."},"incomplete_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incomplete."},"incomplete_expiry":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration date is incomplete."},"incomplete_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code is incomplete."},"expired_card":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card has expired."},"incorrect_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incorrect."},"incorrect_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code failed validation."},"invalid_expiry_year_past":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is in the past"},"card_declined":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card was declined."},"missing":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"There is no card on a customer that is being charged."},"processing_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"An error occurred while processing the card."},"invalid_request_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to process this payment, please try again or use alternative method."},"invalid_sofort_country":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The billing country is not accepted by SOFORT. Please try another country."}}}},"fetched_oembed_html":false}
Leave a Reply