They were supposed to be grabbing coffee.

That’s it. Just coffee. One calm morning, no crowds, no chaos — just Thane, Gabriel, and Mark ducking into a hip little indie shop called The Howling Bean (yes, they picked it for the name), trying to exist like normal people.

It lasted all of three minutes.

Thane had just gotten the lid on Gabriel’s triple-shot macadamia cold brew when someone outside shrieked, “OH MY GOD IT’S THEM!”

Thane tensed. Mark sighed. Gabriel turned with a hopeful grin. “Maybe it’s a nice shriek this time?”

It wasn’t.

Because barreling down the sidewalk was a shirtless guy in neon green body paint, wearing paper mâché wolf ears and dragging behind him a banner that read “MOUNT ME, GABRIEL!” in hand-scrawled glitter paint.

Mark blinked. “What the actual—”

“WOLF BOMB!” the fan shouted, launching himself off a sidewalk planter toward the café window like it was a wrestling ring ropes setup.

“NOPE!” Thane shouted, lunging forward with speed only a werewolf could pull off.

He caught the guy midair in a full-claw chest grab and planted him into the pavement just inches from the front window — not hard enough to hurt him, but firmly enough to break the momentum and his dignity.

The guy wheezed.

The entire café froze.

Gabriel stepped up beside Thane, coffee in one hand, shaking his head with mock pity. “You really committed to the bit, huh?”

“Th-thought you’d be impressed…” the guy croaked.

“Oh, I’m impressed,” Gabriel said. “But mostly by Thane’s ability to not yeet you into the next zip code.”

Within hours, the incident was everywhere.

📸 A customer inside had caught the whole thing on video and uploaded it under the title:
“Werewolf Body Slam: Feral Eclipse Fan Tries To Impress Gabriel, Gets Yeeted By Security Bandmate”

🧃 A smoothie brand quote-tweeted it and offered Thane a sponsorship.

📺 TMZ tried to run it as “Feral Eclipse Fan Violence Scandal” — until a follow-up clip showed Gabriel helping the guy up and giving him a fist bump, followed by Thane offering to pay for his hospital bill (which turned out to be just a scraped elbow and bruised pride).

🐺 Fan art of Yeetwolf Thane became a meme within the day.

Back in the van that night, Mark was cackling while watching one of the animated re-creations on his tablet.

“This one’s got you doing a spinning suplex,” he said to Thane. “With glitter trails.”

Gabriel leaned against Thane’s shoulder, laughing. “You’re a legend now, my wolf. Hope you’re ready for more acrobatics.”

Thane groaned and muttered into his claws. “Next time I’m bringing a net.”