The tour bus rumbled into the parking lot of Sooner Hills Mall, a mid-sized two-story retail center tucked into a suburb just outside Oklahoma City. It wasn’t the fanciest stop on tour — but that was exactly the point.
Diesel killed the engine and turned around in the captain’s chair. “Alright, wolves. You’ve got one hour before someone clocks you and the whole damn food court turns into a furry fan convention.”
Gabriel was already half-shoving a hoodie over his ears. “Challenge accepted.”
Inside the bus, chaos unfolded as each member of the crew assembled their terrible disguises. Rico wore aviator sunglasses and a “Bass Dads Do It Deeper” shirt. Jonah added a fake mustache so crooked it looked like it had been drawn on with eyeliner during a moving vehicle. Maya just threw on a poncho and dared anyone to question her.
Cassie, meanwhile, slipped on oversized sunglasses and declared she was incognito as “Not Beyoncé.”
Thane, standing near the front mirror with a grimace, tugged on a pair of huge gray Keen Voyageur boots and muttered, “This feels unnatural. Why are my claws in prison.”
“You look great, my wolf,” Gabriel growled from behind his shades. “Very tourist-casual elder millennial. Very ‘I hike on weekends and complain about parking apps.’”
“Say that again and I’ll rewire your bass with catgut.”
Once inside the mall, they tried to split into pairs—Thane with Gabriel, Mark with Jonah, Rico with Maya, Cassie solo. The plan was to blend in, pick up some new socks and maybe some bubble tea, and absolutely not get recognized.
For exactly seven minutes, it worked.
Thane and Gabriel were admiring a LEGO display at a toy store when a kid tugged on his mom’s sleeve and whispered, “Mom… that’s the werewolf with the cable coil!”
Gabriel turned just enough to glance at Thane, who was frozen mid-step like a brown-furred deer in headlights.
“Oh no.”
Across the food court, Mark squinted from behind his reader glasses and nudged Jonah. “Told you this was a dumb plan.”
Within minutes, the group had gathered near the Cinnabon as more fans began circling like sharks. Some were cautious—snapping pics from behind sunglasses or pretending to browse—but others straight-up sprinted toward them with phones out and Sharpies in hand.
Jonah took off his mustache and yelled, “EVERY WOLF FOR HIMSELF!” before bolting toward the pretzel stand.
Cassie ducked behind a kiosk shouting “I am not affiliated with these creatures!”
Mark just stood there, arms crossed, quietly watching as mall security rolled up—and then gave the wolves a knowing nod.
“Back door’s open,” the guard muttered. “Go. Now. But grab me a signed CD before you bounce.”
Back on the bus, everyone collapsed into seats or bunks, breathing hard from laughter and exertion.
Thane yanked the boots off with a satisfying grunt. “Never again. I’m free.”
Gabriel leaned against him with a smirk. “You say that, but admit it… you kinda rocked the suburban dad look.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t leave you in the LEGO aisle.”
Jonah, still panting from his mad sprint, flopped into his bunk. “Okay, next time we do this—we try disguises that don’t look like a bad Halloween party.”
Mark, deadpan: “Next time, we don’t.”
And from the back of the bus, Diesel’s voice echoed forward with a laugh: “I told you wolves can’t go unnoticed. Y’all are like glitter in a carpet.”