{"id":1093,"date":"2024-04-28T01:00:07","date_gmt":"2024-04-28T06:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=1093"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:22:49","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:22:49","slug":"bless-this-pack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/bless-this-pack\/","title":{"rendered":"Bless This Pack"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The bus crested the last hill outside the city limits of Wayfield,<\/em> Kansas, a midsized town nestled deep in the Bible Belt \u2014 where the steeples outnumbered gas stations and every billboard was either about salvation or pest control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emily peeked out the front window and immediately muttered, \u201cOh no.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There they were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pickets.<\/strong>
Hand-painted signs lined the street in front of the venue like a judgmental art fair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83e\udea7 TURN BACK TO GOD, NOT GUITARS!<\/em>
\ud83e\udea7 SATAN DOESN\u2019T NEED A SOUND TECH<\/em> (Thane snorted)
\ud83e\udea7 NO WOLVES IN OUR SHEEPFOLD!<\/em>
\ud83e\udea7 BLASPHEMY IN BASS FORM!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Diesel slowed the bus, side-eyeing the crowd with a low whistle. \u201cWoo boy. I ain\u2019t seen this much fire and brimstone since my third divorce.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico leaned across the front lounge, munching a snack bar. \u201cLook at that one. ‘WEREWOLVES CAUSE WARTS.’<\/em> The alliteration is cute though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie added, \u201cDoes that mean if you lick a werewolf you grow a tail? Because if so, I\u2019ve got questions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel peeked out and winced. \u201cOoof. That one guy\u2019s literally holding a wooden cross and shouting about \u2018demonic basslines.\u2019\u201d He turned to Thane. \u201cDoes my tone say demonic<\/em> to you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane, deadpan: \u201cOnly when you slap too hard and knock out Jonah\u2019s in-ears.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah raised both hands defensively. \u201cOne time! One!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya muttered, \u201cThey\u2019re big mad we brought our own religion\u2026 stage presence and thick thighs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark, from the kitchenette, grunted without looking up. \u201cGive \u2018em ten minutes. They\u2019ll confuse us with a furry renaissance fair and start blaming anime.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Inside the venue:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They were greeted by their contact, a grinning, sunburnt venue manager named Janet<\/strong> with rhinestone boots and absolutely no patience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou guys sure stirred up the locals,\u201d she said, handing Emily a stack of pre-signed waivers. \u201cPastor Markham\u2019s congregation sent, like, eighteen<\/em> angry emails, a petition, and one really aggressive fruit basket.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie blinked. \u201c…Aggressive how?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBananas had Bible verses carved into them,\u201d Janet replied. \u201cAnyway, the venue didn\u2019t cave. City didn\u2019t either. Pastor even tried to get the cops to shut you down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel frowned. \u201cWait, what?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d she said, smirking. \u201cBackfired hard. Turns out the chief of police<\/em> has a son who\u2019s your biggest fan.<\/em>\u201d She pulled out her phone and showed a photo: a grinning teenager in full face paint, clutching a handmade Thane is My Alpha<\/em> sign at a past show.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane blinked. \u201c\u2026Why do they always pick me?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark: \u201cYou\u2019re big and scary. It\u2019s aspirational.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah, grinning: \u201cAlso, you once growled at a stagehand so hard he cried and said thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel burst out laughing. \u201cOkay but seriously \u2014 do we need security or\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Janet waved it off. \u201cThe cops already cleared it. Chief said if anyone lays hands on your gear, he\u2019ll personally arrest them, turn on the flashing lights, and let his kid meet you all backstage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie smirked. \u201cDo we get to sign his cuffs?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane sighed. \u201cIf this kid asks to be my emotional support alpha, I swear \u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel: \u201cWell, you<\/em> started that brand, my wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane turned to him, eyes narrowed. \u201cI will staple your tail to the subwoofer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel grinned and licked the air dramatically in response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Outside, the protestors had started chanting \u201cNO HOWLING ZONES!\u201d<\/em> and waving signs at every passing car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inside the venue, Feral Eclipse soundchecked with extra filthy<\/em> bass tones, echoing off the rafters like a spiritual earthquake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel plucked a deep, rumbling note and smirked. \u201cThink that\u2019s enough to summon a demon?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark, at the console with Thane, grunted. \u201cIf it is, it better carry its own amp.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The bus crested the last hill outside the city limits of Wayfield, Kansas, a midsized town nestled deep in the Bible Belt \u2014 where the steeples outnumbered gas stations and every billboard was either about salvation or pest control. Emily peeked out the front window and immediately muttered, \u201cOh no.\u201d There they were. Pickets.Hand-painted signs […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1093","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1093"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1093\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3080,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1093\/revisions\/3080"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}