The Feral Eclipse tour bus rumbled into the Neon Pines County Fairgrounds, raising a dust cloud so thick it nearly swallowed a face-painted corn dog vendor. The air reeked of hay, diesel, and powdered sugar, and the parking crew\u2014a pair of teenagers in matching American flag overalls\u2014were too busy TikToking to offer guidance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As the bus eased to a stop, the crew could already see the day going sideways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the lot just ahead sat the less-than-glorious<\/em> Vandal Saints van, duct tape on one door, speakers stacked haphazardly around it, and a hand-painted banner strung up with the phrase “Rock Hard, Die Loud.”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Suddenly, from the van’s side door \u2014 a goat burst out.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It was wearing a scarf, bedazzled horns, and someone\u2019s lipstick. It galloped into the chaos like a four-legged fever dream, dragging a belt and half a glittery crop top behind it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The band stared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie blinked. \u201cWas that a\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jonah: \u201cYup.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel: \u201cWhy was it wearing blush?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Seconds later, Bret<\/strong> \u2014 Vandal Saints\u2019 infamous lead singer \u2014 exploded<\/em> out of the van, shirtless, mascara running, pants on backwards, and a giant lipstick smear on one cheek. He was chasing after the goat in a full meltdown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPRINCESS NUGGET! GET BACK HERE!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he looked up \u2014 and saw the Feral Eclipse bus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And everything stopped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bret dropped to his knees in the gravel, arms raised like he was in a Shakespearean tragedy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNOOO! NOT AGAIN! WHY? WHY IS IT ALWAYS YOU?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n The pack exchanged looks. Cassie raised a brow. Thane snorted. Diesel just shook his head like he\u2019d seen this entire bit play out too many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maya clapped her hands and strode forward, voice dripping with amused sarcasm:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey Bret, real quick \u2014 what was up with that goat? Messy scarf, lipstick, horns\u2026 You trying to recreate one of those Tijuana donkey shows<\/em>\u2026 or did you just lose a very bizarre poker bet?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Bret\u2019s jaw snapped shut. His mascara-streaked face flushed darker than his lipstick. The goat bleated in perfect timing from afar, starting back toward the van.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShut up!\u201d Bret screamed. He glared around, chest heaving\u2026 then turned on his heel and stomped back to the van.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The goat followed, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As Bret stormed his way inside, the goat trotted in after him like it owned the place. The Saints\u2019 roadie just groaned and closed the door with a sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emily snapped a photo of the van \u2014 goat\u2019s snout pressed to the back window \u2014 as fuel for tomorrow\u2019s tour update.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Feral Eclipse tour bus rumbled into the Neon Pines County Fairgrounds, raising a dust cloud so thick it nearly swallowed a face-painted corn dog vendor. The air reeked of hay, diesel, and powdered sugar, and the parking crew\u2014a pair of teenagers in matching American flag overalls\u2014were too busy TikToking to offer guidance. As the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1428"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3073,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1428\/revisions\/3073"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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\u201cI didn\u2019t \u2014 It\u2019s none of your business!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n