{"id":145,"date":"2023-04-08T01:00:51","date_gmt":"2023-04-08T06:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=145"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:15","slug":"thread-count-of-doom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/thread-count-of-doom\/","title":{"rendered":"Thread Count of Doom"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

6:31 PM \u2013 Fifteen Minutes to Doors<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Backstage was a pressure cooker of last-minute tuning, nervous pacing, and vague panic about whether anyone had remembered to bring the merch table banner (they hadn\u2019t\u2014Mark had to print one on paper towels in the venue office an hour ago).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel stood in the dressing room\u2014well, technically it was a storage closet with an overloaded power strip and three sad chairs\u2014trying to look composed while tugging down the hem of his Feral Eclipse stage tee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Thane,” he said calmly, “why does this shirt feel like it was washed in glue and despair?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane didn\u2019t look up from his clipboard. \u201cBecause I forgot to soften the band laundry. Just pretend it\u2019s battle armor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel shifted awkwardly. \u201cBattle armor doesn\u2019t ride up and expose your werewolf belly every time you inhale.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark, seated nearby with a roll of gaff tape in one hand and a half-eaten gas station sandwich in the other, muttered, \u201cMaybe the belly is part of the stage presence.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel pointed at him. \u201cI will staple your sandwich to your forehead.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just then, Maya burst into the room, holding up her T-shirt. \u201cOKAY. WHO\u2019S RESPONSIBLE FOR GIVING ME A SMALL?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie peeked in behind her, giggling. \u201cI mean, you are<\/em> small.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am small and dangerous,<\/em>\u201d Maya growled, tugging at the shirt that barely reached her waistband. \u201cI look like a backup dancer for a toddler metal band.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane finally glanced up. \u201cWe ran out of mediums. It\u2019s either that or one of the old promo shirts with the misprinted logo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya blinked. \u201cYou mean the one that said FERAL ELK-LIPS<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark didn\u2019t even smile. \u201cThose sold well in Montana.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel bent over to retrieve his tuning pedal, and the fabric of his too-small shirt gave a heart-wrenching rrrriiiiiiipppp<\/em> from armpit to hem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c…I think I\u2019m free now,\u201d he said, very quietly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane exhaled. \u201cOkay. Everyone swap shirts if you need to. I\u2019ve got a sewing kit, duct tape, and two emergency tank tops in the tech crate. Just\u2026 look like a band. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie reached for one of the tank tops, held it up, and read the faded logo: Bite Me, I’m With the Band.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

She grinned. \u201cHonestly, I\u2019ve worn worse.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark, rising from his chair, tossed the rest of his sandwich in the trash. \u201cI\u2019m going to check the fog machine. When I come back, I expect everyone to be clothed or creatively disguised.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As he left, Gabriel looked down at the shredded shirt and sighed. \u201cI\u2019m gonna just rock this like an open vest. A little werewolf realness for the crowd.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane gave a thumbs up. \u201cThat\u2019s the spirit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya, who had tied her shirt into a fierce cropped knot, leaned toward Cassie. \u201cThis is going to be one hell of a show.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie laughed. \u201cWe look like a band held together by attitude and static cling.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The backstage lights flickered. A low rumble of the crowd gathering beyond the curtain sent a wave of electricity through the air.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane looked around at his patched-up, over-caffeinated, emotionally-frayed band.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlaces in five.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

6:31 PM \u2013 Fifteen Minutes to Doors Backstage was a pressure cooker of last-minute tuning, nervous pacing, and vague panic about whether anyone had remembered to bring the merch table banner (they hadn\u2019t\u2014Mark had to print one on paper towels in the venue office an hour ago). Gabriel stood in the dressing room\u2014well, technically it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=145"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3312,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145\/revisions\/3312"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}