{"id":163,"date":"2023-04-16T01:00:17","date_gmt":"2023-04-16T06:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=163"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:15","slug":"no-start-all-panic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/no-start-all-panic\/","title":{"rendered":"Crank, Clunk, Coast"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Late morning. Blazing sun. A long stretch of West Texas highway with nothing but mirages and regret.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Chevy tour van, affectionately named \u201cFangwagon,\u201d was doing its best impression of a dying animal. The whole crew was inside\u2014seven bodies and enough gear to rebuild a music store if it exploded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane sat behind the wheel, one clawed hand adjusting the rearview mirror, the other tapping rhythmically on the wheel as if sheer force of will would keep the engine from quitting. Gabriel, in the passenger seat, was chugging a gas station iced coffee like it was going to give him wings. Spoiler: it didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the back, Maya sat crisscross on a flight case, arms crossed, brow furrowed. Rico was dozing with his face against the window, Jonah had his earbuds in, and Mark sat silent, glaring at the rattling A\/C vent like it owed him money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then\u2014THUNK-KRCHHHH.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The van gave a lurch. The dashboard flickered. Thane\u2019s ears snapped upright.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, no you don\u2019t,\u201d he growled, easing off the gas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel looked over. \u201cDid we hit something or just lose a piece of the van?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you smell smoke?\u201d Maya asked sharply from the back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, but I can smell our career dying,\u201d Mark deadpanned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The van shuddered again, then coasted silently for a second too long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane pulled to the shoulder. \u201cThat was the serpentine belt, I\u2019d bet anything on it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone piled out, the dry heat slamming into them like a hairdryer to the face. Thane popped the hood, and a thin wisp of smoke curled up into the air like it had somewhere better to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel leaned in beside him. \u201cSo\u2026 we walk now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not walking anywhere,\u201d Thane muttered, inspecting the mess. \u201cI can fix this, but I need a belt. And duct tape. And about six fewer people asking me questions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark pulled out his phone. \u201cNo signal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya pulled out hers. \u201cSame. Welcome to \u2018We All Die in Texas,\u2019 starring: Us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah sighed. \u201cI knew we should\u2019ve taken the scenic route. Scenic routes have Walmarts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico pulled a lukewarm soda out of the cooler and cracked it open with a hiss. \u201cGuess we\u2019re camping. Anyone bring marshmallows?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane stood up, wiping grease onto his jeans. \u201cAlright. This is fixable. I\u2019ve got a patch kit, and if I can jerry-rig the belt with zip ties, we can limp to the next town.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel looked skeptical. \u201cHow many zip ties?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEnough to qualify as an engineering degree,\u201d Thane replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark stared at the van. \u201cI\u2019m not dying in this van. If this is how I go out, I demand a better soundtrack than \u2018loose fanbelt in A minor.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRico,\u201d Thane snapped, \u201ccheck the back bin. Should be a repair roll and extra fluid.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOn it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJonah, Maya\u2014watch the road. Just in case anyone comes by who isn\u2019t planning to murder us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel tilted his head. \u201cAnd me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou,\u201d Thane sighed, \u201cstand there and look pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel saluted with his coffee cup. \u201cMission accepted.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Late morning. Blazing sun. A long stretch of West Texas highway with nothing but mirages and regret. The Chevy tour van, affectionately named \u201cFangwagon,\u201d was doing its best impression of a dying animal. The whole crew was inside\u2014seven bodies and enough gear to rebuild a music store if it exploded. Thane sat behind the wheel, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=163"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3305,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163\/revisions\/3305"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=163"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=163"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}