{"id":193,"date":"2023-04-26T01:00:51","date_gmt":"2023-04-26T06:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=193"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:15","slug":"meat-trays-and-misunderstandings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/meat-trays-and-misunderstandings\/","title":{"rendered":"Meat Trays and Misunderstandings"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Mid-afternoon, backstage at the Ridge Rock Pavilion \u2013 a mid-sized amphitheater in Des Moines<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The backstage area was\u2026 something. Someone had clearly Googled \u201cwerewolf hospitality\u201d at 2 a.m. and gone way, way<\/em> too far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The green room smelled like raw meat, incense, and desperation. A small table in the corner held a mountain of bloody ribeye steaks\u2014uncooked, sweating in the open air under the humming fluorescent lights. There was also a full jar of peanut butter, two cans of dog food (?!), and a pile of beef jerky shaped into a paw print.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel stood in the doorway, frozen, just staring at the carnage. \u201cWhat the hell?\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane stepped up beside him, a clipboard of load-in notes tucked under one arm. He blinked at the absurd meat display, his jaw slightly slack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark brushed past both of them, stopped mid-step, squinted at the tray, and said flatly, \u201cIs this a threat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enter Becky<\/em>, the venue\u2019s PR manager\u2014a beaming, overly enthusiastic woman in her early thirties with bright eyes and the energy of a motivational speaker. \u201cHi, guys!! Welcome! I just want to say how excited we are to have Feral Eclipse<\/em> performing tonight. And don\u2019t worry\u2014we totally<\/em> did our research.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel slowly turned toward her. \u201cResearch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Becky gestured proudly at the table. \u201cWe wanted you to feel at home! I read online that werewolves love red meat and strong scents, so we curated this special welcome spread just for you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane looked at Mark. Mark looked at Thane. Neither said a word. The air was thick with judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Undeterred, Becky launched into her next proud announcement. \u201cAlso! We changed out all the signs on your dressing rooms to say \u2018Pack Leader\u2019 and \u2018Beta Babe\u2019\u2014so fun, right?! Oh! And if you need a full moon backdrop for any of your Instas, we\u2019ve got one set up by the side entrance!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane dropped his clipboard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel reached forward and gently pushed a dog biscuit off the tray like he couldn\u2019t quite believe it was real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark stared out into the void as if silently calculating the prison sentence for arson.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2026 don\u2019t know whether to laugh or set this place on fire,\u201d Thane finally muttered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark offered a dry suggestion: \u201cCan we do both?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just then, Maya stepped in, took one look at the raw steaks and Becky, and demanded, \u201cOkay, what<\/em> in the name of Latin rage is this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWerewolf dinner!\u201d Becky declared proudly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya turned slowly to Thane. \u201cIf I kill her, do I still get paid?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, Rico and Jonah entered behind her, pushing a massive amp through the hallway. Rico paused mid-roll and blinked at the bizarre meat altar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYo,\u201d he said, wide-eyed. \u201cAre we doing a ritual<\/em> tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah, already backing up: \u201cI told<\/em> y\u2019all we should\u2019ve stayed in the van.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel, ever the agent of chaos, stepped forward and raised a raw steak like a champagne toast. \u201cTo full moons and well-done misunderstandings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before he could bite into it, Thane snatched the steak away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019re eating at the taco truck across the street,\u201d he said, already turning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel pouted. \u201cBut\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Thane cut in sharply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark gave the meat tray one last glance and shook his head. \u201cSomeone\u2019s gonna get salmonella just from standing near that thing.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mid-afternoon, backstage at the Ridge Rock Pavilion \u2013 a mid-sized amphitheater in Des Moines The backstage area was\u2026 something. Someone had clearly Googled \u201cwerewolf hospitality\u201d at 2 a.m. and gone way, way too far. The green room smelled like raw meat, incense, and desperation. A small table in the corner held a mountain of bloody […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/193","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=193"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/193\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3295,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/193\/revisions\/3295"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}