{"id":213,"date":"2023-05-03T01:00:51","date_gmt":"2023-05-03T06:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=213"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:15","slug":"collateral-drummage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/collateral-drummage\/","title":{"rendered":"Collateral Drummage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Day 5. Tour van. Spirits high. Sanity low.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah was having a good day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019d just crushed the last show, fans had actually cheered<\/em> his solo, and he\u2019d snagged the last iced Red Bull from the gas station cooler before Gabriel. (That alone was an achievement worth framing.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He had no idea he was walking into a war zone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel had rigged a glitter bomb in Maya\u2019s overhead cubby\u2014an elaborate setup involving a tripwire, a container of \u201cUltraSparkle Unicorn Confetti\u2122,\u201d and about 20 minutes of whispered scheming with Rico.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But no one told Jonah.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He reached up to grab his spare hoodie from the cubby, humming some dumb TikTok song\u2014and BOOM<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An explosion of pink, purple, and silver glitter erupted like a Vegas finale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah staggered back, choking, sparkling, arms flailing like a disco ball with PTSD.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWHY AM I TASTING GLITTER!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya looked up from her book just in time to see Jonah coated from eyebrows to boots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh my god,\u201d she whispered, eyes wide. \u201cThey got<\/em> a civilian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico wheezed from the kitchenette, trying not to drop the microwave burrito he was clutching. \u201cCollateral damage. Man down!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah stormed down the aisle of the van, glitter sticking to his neck like guilt. \u201cWHO. DID. THIS.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel looked up from his laptop, eyes full of fake innocence. \u201cWasn\u2019t me, sparklecake.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah pointed both hands at the ceiling. \u201cIt came from the cubby above your seat<\/em>, bro!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel smirked. \u201cThen maybe you shouldn\u2019t go poking around other people\u2019s\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSHUT UP,\u201d Jonah snapped, glitter puffing from his chest as he shouted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark leaned into the aisle just far enough to mutter, \u201cYou look like a Bratz doll exploded.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane, still re-coding the lighting cue list from the co-pilot seat, didn\u2019t even turn around. \u201cI swear to Fenrir, if I find a single sequin in the fog cannon again, I will break both of you.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah threw himself into his seat, fuming, still sparkling under the overhead light. \u201cI drum<\/em> for this band. I have dignity. I am a respected\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel flicked a single piece of confetti at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah growled. Growled.<\/em> It wasn\u2019t impressive. It came out like a Labrador who\u2019s just seen a squirrel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Jonah muttered. \u201cOkay. You want war? You want sparkle warfare? Fine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The van went quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then Maya, eyes gleaming, said, \u201cWelcome to the chaos, rookie.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Day 5. Tour van. Spirits high. Sanity low. Jonah was having a good day. He\u2019d just crushed the last show, fans had actually cheered his solo, and he\u2019d snagged the last iced Red Bull from the gas station cooler before Gabriel. (That alone was an achievement worth framing.) He had no idea he was walking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=213"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3288,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213\/revisions\/3288"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}