{"id":215,"date":"2023-05-04T01:00:58","date_gmt":"2023-05-04T06:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=215"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:15","slug":"glitterfall-jonahs-revenge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/glitterfall-jonahs-revenge\/","title":{"rendered":"Glitterfall: Jonah\u2019s Revenge"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Day 6. Tour Van. Prank War Level: Escalated.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah didn\u2019t sleep that night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not because of the glitter stuck in places glitter should never be. Not because Rico kept humming \u201cIt\u2019s Raining Men\u201d every time he walked past him. Not even because he found a flake of holographic confetti in his toothbrush<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah was plotting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the next morning, vengeance arrived with the quiet hum of a soldering iron, a suspicious package of cheap Halloween props, and a laptop full of MIDI mappings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel was the first target. Of course he was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the black-furred werewolf snored peacefully in the bunk above, Jonah spent three hours surgically modifying Gabriel\u2019s pedalboard. He didn\u2019t touch any of the critical tones\u2014Jonah respected music too much for that. But every time Gabriel toggled the distortion channel\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fart noises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wet<\/em>, echoing<\/em>, slow-motion<\/em> fart noises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Custom-mapped to his tone stomp. Through the arena PA. Complete with bass boost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Showtime. That night. Kansas City.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane was dialed in at FOH. Mark was stalking the lighting rig with laser focus. Maya was shredding. Rico was slamming out the opening beat of \u201cHollow Heart.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel, center stage, flipped on the distortion\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PPPPPPBBBBBBTTHHHHHHHHHHH.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The crowd fell silent<\/em> for a full second.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then roared with laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He toggled the pedal again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRRRAAAAAPPPPP-P-POP.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He spun around. \u201cWHO DID THIS?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah was behind the drum kit, smirking like a war criminal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico actually fell off his stool laughing. Maya missed a chord. Even Mark paused the light cues, a clawed hand to his face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane, over the comms:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cI swear to every moon that ever shined, I will end all of you.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Backstage. Later.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel cornered Jonah with a half-full bottle of Fireball and a feral grin. \u201cOkay. You got me. That was genius.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah narrowed his eyes. \u201cWe\u2019re even?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel tilted his head. \u201cEven?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And dumped the Fireball over Jonah\u2019s head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah screamed. \u201cMY EYES. IT BURNS.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Somewhere in the shadows of the arena, Maya scribbled in a little black notebook labeled: \u2018Prank Ideas.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A single line:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cDuct tape + fog cannon + bag of flour.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The war… continues. \ud83d\ude08<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Day 6. Tour Van. Prank War Level: Escalated. Jonah didn\u2019t sleep that night. Not because of the glitter stuck in places glitter should never be. Not because Rico kept humming \u201cIt\u2019s Raining Men\u201d every time he walked past him. Not even because he found a flake of holographic confetti in his toothbrush. No. Jonah was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=215"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3287,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215\/revisions\/3287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}