{"id":257,"date":"2023-05-18T01:00:30","date_gmt":"2023-05-18T06:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=257"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:15","slug":"the-hotel-lobby-fan-mail-delivery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/the-hotel-lobby-fan-mail-delivery\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hotel Lobby Fan Mail Delivery"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Post-brunch. A couple of band members still look traumatized from “Raging Moon Toast.” The crew has wandered downstairs, some bleary-eyed, some still riding the adrenaline from the night before. Gabriel\u2019s sipping his fourth coffee. Thane\u2019s carrying a coil of audio cable for no reason. Mark looks like he\u2019s regretting everything. Again.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A hotel clerk at the front desk waves them down. \u201cUh… excuse me? Are you guys… Feral Eclipse<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya sighs. \u201cYeah, what gave it away? The claws? The caffeine aura? The faint smell of fog machine?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The clerk looks unsure whether to laugh or run. \u201cThere\u2019s\u2026 a package for you. Actually, a few. They\u2019ve been coming in all morning.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah steps forward, curious. \u201cFan stuff?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe?\u201d the clerk says, wheeling out a luggage cart stacked with colorful boxes, envelopes, and at least three weirdly shaped gift bags.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel grins. \u201cOH HELL YES. PRESENTS.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico raises a brow. \u201cOr pipe bombs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya mutters, \u201cHonestly, both are on-brand for our fanbase.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane opens the first envelope, reading aloud:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cTo the alpha with the icy stare and the thighs of destiny\u2014
Enclosed is a handmade thong made of ethically sourced faux wolf fur. I hope it finds you well. \u2013 \u2018LunarLover93\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

He deadpans. \u201cI hate this planet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark opens a box and immediately slams it shut again. \u201cNope. That\u2019s taxidermy. Nope nope nope.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel eagerly rips into a box. Inside is a glitter-covered portrait of him drawn entirely in coffee stains. He holds it up proudly. \u201cLOOK. IT\u2019S ME. MADE OF BEANS.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah pulls out a small package addressed to \u201cDrum Daddy.\u201d He opens it and pulls out\u2026 a rubber chicken. With fangs. And tiny drumsticks taped to its sides.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then Jonah says, deadpan, \u201cThis is my new emotional support item.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel gently clutches the coffee portrait to his chest. \u201cI\u2019m gonna hang this above my side of the van bunk.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico finds a rolled-up poster tube and opens it\u2014revealing fan art of Thane and Gabriel as anime wolf princes in sparkly outfits, standing on a mountain of speakers and hearts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane groans. \u201cWHY ARE WE SPARKLY?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya\u2019s cackling. \u201cBecause you\u2019re someone\u2019s OTP<\/em>, apparently.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark unearths a hand-sewn plushie of himself. It has a tiny scowl, clawed feet, and a felt coffee cup glued to its paw. He stares at it for a long moment. Then carefully tucks it under his arm without a word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel gently nudges Thane. \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane gives him a flat look. \u201cI\u2019m one taxidermy fan letter away from setting this entire rack of mail on fire.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel beams. \u201cYou\u2019re doing great.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just then, the clerk leans back out and nervously adds, \u201cOh! There\u2019s\u2026 also someone waiting in the lounge who says they made you all something special<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone freezes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico: \u201cIs it edible?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah: \u201cIs it legal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya: \u201cIs it emotionally safe?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel, eyes sparkling: \u201cI HOPE IT\u2019S ALL THREE.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Post-brunch. A couple of band members still look traumatized from “Raging Moon Toast.” The crew has wandered downstairs, some bleary-eyed, some still riding the adrenaline from the night before. Gabriel\u2019s sipping his fourth coffee. Thane\u2019s carrying a coil of audio cable for no reason. Mark looks like he\u2019s regretting everything. Again. A hotel clerk at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3273,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions\/3273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}