{"id":265,"date":"2023-05-21T01:00:41","date_gmt":"2023-05-21T06:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=265"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:15","slug":"feral-grandpa-and-the-war-on-bass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/feral-grandpa-and-the-war-on-bass\/","title":{"rendered":"Feral Grandpa and the War on Bass"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Fred, now fully outfitted in a custom “Feral Grandpa” tee and a trucker hat that said \u201cHOWL, DAMMIT\u201d<\/strong>, had somehow become the official senior emissary between Feral Eclipse and the retirement home next door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cListen,\u201d he said, sitting backstage on an amp case like a mob boss, \u201cEunice in 2B says she\u2019ll call the cops if your soundcheck rattles her teeth again. But\u2026 Doris in 4A wants to know if the tall black-furred one is single.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel blinked. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe saw you on the venue\u2019s Facebook page. She thinks you\u2019re \u2018mysterious.\u2019<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark nearly choked on his water bottle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, the soundcheck was proving\u2026 difficult. The moment Jonah tested the kick drum, every loose ceiling tile in the green room trembled. Rico\u2019s quick snare roll caused a piece of decorative molding to fall off the balcony. And Maya\u2019s amp\u2014set to her usual \u201cscorch the demons\u201d level\u2014triggered some sort of city-wide seismograph alert, apparently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane, hunched over the audio rack, groaned. \u201cI can feel this venue judging me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Outside, two elderly women were peeking through the venue\u2019s side door, one clutching a purse like it might ward off evil, the other clearly hoping for a glimpse of a shirtless Gabriel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fred leaned toward Gabriel again. \u201cNow, about Doris\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane stomped over. \u201cCan we not<\/em> sell our bassist to the geriatric community?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel shrugged. \u201cHe\u2019s got charisma. I respect that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back inside, Mark activated a gentle red wash across the stage for a lighting test. Unfortunately, the retirement home mistook it for a fire alarm and evacuated the east wing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fred returned from making amends with a tray of cookies. \u201cDiplomacy,\u201d he said, passing out chocolate chip apologies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico grabbed one. \u201cFred, you\u2019re the best thing that\u2019s happened to this tour.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel took two. \u201cYou\u2019re gonna come on stage with us, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fred puffed up. \u201cDamn right. I want in on the howl song.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

That night, just before the encore\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane leaned into Gabriel. \u201cYou really sure about this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe earned it,\u201d Gabriel said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so, on the final chorus of \u201cLunar Burn,\u201d<\/em> the lights went wild, fog blasted high, and out onto the stage hobbled Feral Grandpa Fred<\/strong>\u2014raising his cane high to the roar of the crowd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The audience lost their minds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane stood off-stage, stunned, cable draped over one shoulder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark muttered over comms, \u201c…I think I actually like this guy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel grinned, howled at the ceiling, and pointed at Fred like he was the goddamn finale.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fred, now fully outfitted in a custom “Feral Grandpa” tee and a trucker hat that said \u201cHOWL, DAMMIT\u201d, had somehow become the official senior emissary between Feral Eclipse and the retirement home next door. \u201cListen,\u201d he said, sitting backstage on an amp case like a mob boss, \u201cEunice in 2B says she\u2019ll call the cops […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=265"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3270,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions\/3270"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}