{"id":267,"date":"2023-05-22T01:00:37","date_gmt":"2023-05-22T06:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=267"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:15","slug":"the-mayor-the-madness-and-the-goddamn-key","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/the-mayor-the-madness-and-the-goddamn-key\/","title":{"rendered":"The Mayor, the Madness, and the Goddamn Key"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The morning after Fred\u2019s surprise onstage cameo, the tour van was unusually quiet\u2014mainly because Gabriel had lost his voice from screaming \u201cHOWL WITH ME, FRED\u201d<\/em> no less than nine times during the encore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane sipped his diet Mountain Dew with his claws wrapped tightly around the can like it had personally wronged him. Mark, of course, was already deep into his daily crossword, mumbling threats at a particularly devious five-letter word for “stage fog.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then Thane\u2019s phone buzzed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unknown Number:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

*Hi! Mayor Patterson here. We\u2019d like to present Feral Eclipse with a Key to the City this afternoon. We also have several angry complaints about \u2018the wolf with the glowing eyes\u2019 howling at our senior citizens, but let\u2019s focus on the first thing. \ud83d\ude42 *<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Thane stared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel, now wrapped in a hoodie and nursing a hot tea like a recovering banshee, looked up with a hoarse: \u201cDid we win something?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou, specifically, terrified local retirees and are now being honored for it.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark didn\u2019t even look up. \u201cSounds about right.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

City Hall \u2013 3:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The entire band filed into the council chambers, clearly out of place among floral upholstery and oil paintings of mayors past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel\u2019s hoodie was replaced with a leather jacket. His voice was back to a raspy whisper\u2014just enough to mutter, \u201cI feel like a rock \u2018n roll Grim Reaper.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico had managed to tape a “Feral Eclipse” sticker over his bass drum that he brought for the photo op. Jonah brought\u2026 himself. And Maya, bless her, had a guitar case, a toothpick, and zero<\/em> patience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie was livestreaming the whole thing. \u201cThis is going to be either legendary or a misdemeanor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mayor approached in a pressed suit and trembling hands, holding a plaque and a large ceremonial key. \u201cIt is with great honor\u2014 and mild concern\u2014that we recognize Feral Eclipse for their\u2026 unique cultural contribution to our city.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A polite cough. \u201cPlease, someone\u2026 uh\u2026 step forward.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fred, standing beside the group in his now slightly upgraded \u201cFERAL GRANDPA \u2013 ROAD CREW\u201d hoodie, shoved Gabriel aside and stepped up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI accept this key on behalf of the wolves, the humans, and the sheer madness we unleash nightly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mayor blinked. \u201cSir, are you in the band?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fred grinned. \u201cNot yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark coughed to cover a laugh. Maya full-on snorted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel leaned into Thane. \u201cShould we correct him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane sipped his drink, deadpan. \u201cNope. Let him have it. Honestly, I\u2019m afraid of what\u2019ll happen if we say no.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The press cameras flashed. Fred raised the key in triumph. Somewhere in the back, an old lady from the retirement home fainted with joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Later That Night<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A new sticker now graced the van\u2019s sliding door:
\u201cKEY TO THE DAMN CITY.\u201d<\/strong>
With a crude drawing of Fred howling under it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The morning after Fred\u2019s surprise onstage cameo, the tour van was unusually quiet\u2014mainly because Gabriel had lost his voice from screaming \u201cHOWL WITH ME, FRED\u201d no less than nine times during the encore. Thane sipped his diet Mountain Dew with his claws wrapped tightly around the can like it had personally wronged him. Mark, of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=267"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3269,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions\/3269"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}