It started innocently enough\u2014like all good catastrophes do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Feral Eclipse had just wrapped a scorcher of a show the night before, still buzzing as they piled into the tour van that morning. Gabriel, ever the caffeinated optimist, convinced everyone they needed a pit stop for coffee and road snacks. Again. They pulled into a sleepy corner mini-mart in some suburb that probably had more HOA meetings than music venues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gabriel bounded inside, hoodie half-zipped, tail twitching lazily behind him, already headed for the cold brew cooler when a sharply dressed man intercepted him near the energy drinks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cExcuse me,\u201d the man said with that million-dollar-smile-and-zero-personality vibe. \u201cYou’re the guitarist from that band last night, correct? Gabriel?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gabriel blinked. \u201cUh\u2026 yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m throwing a private party today. I was impressed by your\u2026 stage presence.\u201d The man handed over a sleek black business card. \u201cWould you be interested in doing a short set for a private audience? I\u2019m happy to pay well for a few live songs. Just a little fun for the family, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gabriel, never one to say no to playing\u2014and high on caffeine\u2014lit up. \u201cSure! But we don\u2019t do solo gigs. We play as a pack<\/em>. You get the whole band or nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The man smiled wider. \u201cPerfect.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n An hour later, the van rolled through a gated community lined with perfect lawns and suspiciously identical mansions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis doesn\u2019t feel like a venue,\u201d Thane muttered, narrowing his eyes at the giant inflatable bounce house on the front lawn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel squinted. \u201cHuh. Maybe it\u2019s a backyard BBQ thing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maya groaned. \u201cIf there\u2019s a pi\u00f1ata, I\u2019m leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mark stared at the life-size cardboard cutout of Bluey<\/em> on the driveway. \u201cI\u2019m not emotionally equipped for this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The van creaked to a halt. The band climbed out and were immediately greeted by a swarm of sugar-drunk 6-year-olds wearing party hats and face paint. A bubble machine hissed somewhere in the distance. A clown juggled silently on the porch, his expression dead inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWelcome to hell,\u201d Cassie whispered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The businessman came striding out, clapping his hands. \u201cWonderful! You made it! We\u2019ve got power outlets on the patio, and I moved the balloon animal station so you can set up near the bounce house. You don\u2019t mind playing a few covers, do you? Something the kids can dance to?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane slowly turned toward Gabriel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel gave him the most sheepish, wide-eyed, tail-curled-between-the-legs look he\u2019d ever mustered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI may<\/em> have misinterpreted what he meant by \u2018private party.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane inhaled like he was about to commit a felony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mark, already pulling a light case from the van, muttered, \u201cI hope this kid\u2019s ready for some trauma.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The band tried\u2014tried<\/em>\u2014to adapt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie sang a painfully toned-down version of \u201cVeins of Thunder\u201d with all the growls removed. Rico tried to find a beat that didn\u2019t inspire headbanging. Jonah wore his sunglasses the entire time and muttered under his breath, \u201cThis is how legends die.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maya played with her volume knob dialed so far back it was practically a lullaby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Meanwhile, Gabriel was thriving.<\/em> He handed out picks like candy, let kids touch his strings (against every bassist instinct in his body), and even led a mini mosh with inflatable guitars someone handed out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At one point, Thane was asked if the \u201cdoggie man\u201d could tie balloon animals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI will eat<\/em> that clown,\u201d he growled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m begging you not to,\u201d Mark said flatly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As the set mercifully wrapped, the birthday boy was handed a custom-made \u201cFeral Eclipse\u201d cake\u2014complete with poorly drawn werewolf figurines on top.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou guys were AMAZING!\u201d the businessman beamed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSir,\u201d Jonah said, \u201cyou invited a metal band to a child\u2019s birthday party.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes,\u201d the man nodded. \u201cGreat exposure! All the neighborhood parents are on Instagram!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel laughed. \u201cWell, at least someone had fun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie, clearly seconds from cracking, whispered, \u201cIf I hear the word \u2018kidcore\u2019 one more time, I\u2019m setting the merch van on fire.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n As they loaded the van, Thane looked over at Gabriel, who was somehow still grinning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou are never<\/em> allowed to talk to strangers in mini-marts again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel shrugged. \u201cYou gotta admit\u2026 it was kind of legendary.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mark slammed the back door shut and muttered, \u201cI have seen<\/em> war zones with less chaos.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It started innocently enough\u2014like all good catastrophes do. Feral Eclipse had just wrapped a scorcher of a show the night before, still buzzing as they piled into the tour van that morning. Gabriel, ever the caffeinated optimist, convinced everyone they needed a pit stop for coffee and road snacks. Again. They pulled into a sleepy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=273"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/273\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3266,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/273\/revisions\/3266"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\n\n\n\ud83c\udfe1Arrival at the Lair of Disappointment<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n\ud83c\udfb6Setlist of Doom<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n\ud83c\udf81A Very Special Encore<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n