{"id":321,"date":"2023-06-10T01:00:14","date_gmt":"2023-06-10T06:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=321"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:14","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:14","slug":"alpha-beta-disaster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/alpha-beta-disaster\/","title":{"rendered":"Alpha Beta Disaster"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Because if one more guy says \u2018play Freebird,\u2019 Thane might commit a felony.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

The sun was barely down when the Feral Eclipse tour van pulled up to what looked like the unholy spawn of a plantation house and a liquor store. Greek letters lit in mismatched neon screamed \u0391\u0392\u03a8<\/strong>, and the thudding bass from inside rattled the siding like the building was trying to shake off its own shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico leaned out the window. \u201cOh god. I can already smell the Natty Light and Axe body spray.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel grinned wide, tail already wagging. \u201cTHIS is more like it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah peeked out from behind his hoodie. \u201cI don\u2019t know, man. I see four shirtless guys doing keg stands and one in a Pikachu onesie with a bullhorn. I don\u2019t feel safe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark muttered from the back, \u201cI haven\u2019t seen this much stupidity since we let Gabriel mix vodka and cold brew.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane killed the engine. \u201cAlright. If we die, I\u2019m haunting whoever booked this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Inside, it was absolute carnage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A crowd of sweaty college students swarmed the main floor, red Solo cups in every hand. A kiddie pool full of Jell-O wobbled near the DJ booth. Someone had spray-painted \u201cFERAL ECPLISE RULZ\u201d on the wall. (Spelling optional.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie surveyed the crowd. \u201cJesus. They\u2019re all drunk enough to think we\u2019re the Wiggles.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A frat bro in a backward visor and aviators stumbled up to Maya and slurred, \u201cYou guys do covers? Can you play like… Nickelback?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya stared at him. \u201cI\u2019ll play your spleen like a banjo if you don\u2019t move.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bro wandered off in confusion, still shouting \u201cPhotograph.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Stage Setup: Frat Edition<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • Thane was given one working outlet and a folding table that collapsed under the weight of a single mixer.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Mark\u2019s \u201clighting rig\u201d consisted of three smart bulbs duct-taped to a ceiling fan.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Jonah was told to set up \u201cwhere the beer pong table used<\/em> to be.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Gabriel got distracted for twenty minutes teaching a stoner how to hold a bass backwards.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Rico tuned his guitar over the sound of a dude vomiting into a plastic plant.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
    \n\n\n\n

    Showtime.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Someone shouted \u201cWOOOO!\u201d and pressed play on the smoke machine\u2014which was actually a humidifier filled with vape juice. A cloud of strawberry mango wafted across the stage like a bad dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Cassie grabbed the mic. \u201cWe are Feral Eclipse.<\/em> Prepare yourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Someone shouted back, \u201cPLAY SKRILLEX!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Cassie ignored them and screamed into the mic like a banshee on fire. Rico ripped into a solo. Jonah knocked over a lawn chair with the sheer force of his kick drum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Gabriel crowd-surfed for five full seconds before the crowd just sort of\u2026 forgot to hold him. He crashed into a beer cooler, popped up soaking wet, and howled with laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Thane was screaming into his headset. \u201cI SWEAR TO LUNA, IF SOMEONE UNPLUGS MY POWER STRIP AGAIN\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Mark, calmly balancing a flashlight and a fog remote, triggered a strobe burst so intense it sent half the crowd into a spontaneous TikTok dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Maya\u2019s guitar string snapped mid-solo. She replaced it mid-riff using a shoelace. Nobody noticed. She was too badass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n\n\n\n

    By the end of the night:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    • Three frat bros had confessed to Gabriel that they now \u201ctotally get werewolves.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Jonah had somehow acquired a tank top with \u201cDRUM DADDY\u201d printed on it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Thane was threatening to electrify the beer keg.<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Rico had a fan in his lap asking if he \u201cwanted to jam later.\u201d Rico did not.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      And Cassie?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Cassie stood on the roof of a cooler, bathed in red light, screaming the final chorus as the crowd howled like a wolf pack gone wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n\n\n\n

      Afterward, the band dragged themselves back to the van \u2014 soaked, deafened, and kind of amazed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Gabriel flopped into his seat, still laughing. \u201cOkay. That was a shitshow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Thane leaned back, wiping beer off his face. \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \u201cBut like… a fun<\/em> shitshow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Jonah nodded, holding up his \u201cDrum Daddy\u201d shirt. \u201cI\u2019m framing this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Mark just downed another soda and muttered, \u201cNext stop better have a damn theater.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Because if one more guy says \u2018play Freebird,\u2019 Thane might commit a felony. The sun was barely down when the Feral Eclipse tour van pulled up to what looked like the unholy spawn of a plantation house and a liquor store. Greek letters lit in mismatched neon screamed \u0391\u0392\u03a8, and the thudding bass from inside […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=321"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3250,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321\/revisions\/3250"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}