{"id":355,"date":"2023-06-17T01:00:20","date_gmt":"2023-06-17T06:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=355"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:14","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:14","slug":"spin-cycle-of-doom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/spin-cycle-of-doom\/","title":{"rendered":"Spin Cycle of Doom"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Arkansas Delta County Fair<\/em> was a fever dream of hay bales, deep-fried everything, and machinery that had not passed inspection since the Clinton administration. The stage was set up near the edge of the fairgrounds, between the livestock pens and the Ferris wheel that squealed every time it turned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The band had just finished soundcheck (barely\u2014Jonah\u2019s snare tried to escape mid-test), and the sun was just beginning to set behind the cotton candy stand when Gabriel pointed at a nearby ride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was a rickety-looking contraption that looked like someone had strapped rocket boosters to a hamster wheel and called it a thrill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The faded sign read:
“GRAVITRON-XTREME!!!”<\/strong>
With a scrawled warning beneath it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cNot responsible for loose teeth, lost dignity, or spatial disorientation.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel\u2019s eyes lit up. \u201cGuys. We have to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Thane said instantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya crossed her arms. \u201cAbsolutely not. I\u2019m not trusting my spine to a rusted centrifuge.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah was already halfway to the ride. \u201cThis is how I want to die.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico groaned. \u201cSomeone film it if he barfs. I need new content for our TikTok.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel grabbed Thane\u2019s wrist. \u201cCome on! We\u2019re werewolves. We heal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane blinked. \u201cThat thing was made before OSHA existed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cExactly,\u201d Gabriel grinned. \u201cVintage danger!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Moments later\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR<\/em>
The Gravitron roared to life like a jet engine with asthma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inside the metal drum, Gabriel, Jonah, and Rico were plastered to the spinning wall as the ride tilted and picked up speed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel yelled, \u201cI CAN SEE THROUGH TIME!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah shouted, \u201cWHY ARE MY ORGANS ARGUMENTING ABOUT LOCATION?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico just laughed. \u201cI REGRET NOTHING!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Outside the ride, Thane stood next to Mark, arms folded, expression like a father watching his kids light themselves on fire with sparklers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis ends with someone puking,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFive bucks says it\u2019s Jonah,\u201d Mark replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie, chewing on a funnel cake, shrugged. \u201cThis is better than cable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Then came the shriek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not from the riders. From the ride<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A sudden CLUNK<\/em> echoed through the air. The Gravitron jerked hard to one side, lights flickering like a dying UFO. The operator (a teenager who looked like he had no earthly business being near electricity) slammed the emergency stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

EERRRRRRRRR-CHUNK!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ride stopped… sideways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The doors opened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico stumbled out first, immediately dropped to his knees, and declared, \u201cThe Earth is spinning. Stop the planet. I wanna get off.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah staggered out behind him, holding a cotton candy stick like a war banner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel\u2026 wobbled out last, sunglasses sideways, shirt flapping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI tasted gravity,\u201d he whispered. \u201cIt was lime-flavored.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Back at the stage, Thane handed Gabriel a bottle of water. \u201cStill vintage danger?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel grinned weakly. \u201cTotally worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie cackled as Jonah dropped onto a hay bale with a groan. \u201cNow who\u2019s gonna explain to the crowd why our lead guitarist looks like he was exorcised?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico gave a thumbs-up from the grass. \u201cI\u2019ll play lying down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

As the sun dipped behind the fairgrounds, the smell of fried butter and engine grease filled the air. Lights flashed across the tilt-a-whirl. A pair of cows mooed somewhere near the back of the field.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And as the band gathered their gear, Gabriel leaned toward Thane and whispered, \u201cIf we survive this tour, we\u2019re getting one of those rides installed at the studio.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He just walked away muttering, \u201cOnly if it\u2019s OSHA-compliant.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Arkansas Delta County Fair was a fever dream of hay bales, deep-fried everything, and machinery that had not passed inspection since the Clinton administration. The stage was set up near the edge of the fairgrounds, between the livestock pens and the Ferris wheel that squealed every time it turned. The band had just finished […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=355"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3243,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions\/3243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}