{"id":368,"date":"2023-06-22T01:00:45","date_gmt":"2023-06-22T06:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=368"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:14","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:14","slug":"carnival-of-regrets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/carnival-of-regrets\/","title":{"rendered":"Carnival of Regrets"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\ud83c\udfaa Somewhere Outside Texarkana, Population: Unsettled<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The sign came out of nowhere.
A cracked wooden billboard, lit by a single flickering bulb, perched at a crooked angle beside the highway:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cSPINDLE’S WHIRL-O-RAMA CARNIVAL! One Night Only! FUN! FOOD! FERAL FRIENDS?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDid that sign just say feral friends?<\/em>\u201d Jonah asked from the back, peering between seats.
Gabriel, slurping the dregs of a canned iced mocha, leaned across the dashboard. \u201cWe have<\/em> to go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane didn\u2019t even look up from the map app on his phone. \u201cNo.\u201d
Cassie: \u201cCome on. It\u2019s fate.\u201d
Mark, deadpan from the passenger seat: \u201cFate is dumb.\u201d
Rico, scrolling through TikTok: \u201cYeah, but if we don\u2019t go, we\u2019ll wonder forever.\u201d
Maya, already strapping on her boots: \u201cAnd if we do<\/em> go, we\u2019ll probably get tetanus.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane sighed. \u201c\u2026Ten minutes. We look. We leave. No carnies, no carnage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

The carnival looked like a Tim Burton fever dream sponsored by expired corn dogs.
Half-lit signs buzzed above rusted rides. A lone Ferris wheel groaned in protest against gravity.
A suspiciously damp clown waved from near the cotton candy stand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel was in heaven. \u201cThis is amazing.\u201d
Thane: \u201cThis is how horror movies start.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The band spread out, each drawn to something weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie found a fortune teller named \u201cMadame Skarlette\u201d who read her aura with a vape pen and whispered, \u201cBeware the full moon… and gluten.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah wandered into a mirror maze and accidentally scared himself three times before walking into a glass wall.
\u201cThis place is cursed,\u201d he announced, nose bleeding.
\u201cNo,\u201d Rico said, laughing, \u201cyou\u2019re<\/em> cursed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel, meanwhile, had somehow gotten pulled into a carnival game.
By the time the others found him, he was wielding a giant plastic mallet at a \u201cSmash the Rat\u201d booth while a kid in a mullet screamed, \u201cHIT IT HARDER, FURRY MAN!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane yanked him away mid-swing. \u201cWe are leaving.\u201d
\u201cBut I almost won a SpongeBob!\u201d Gabriel whined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

\u201cLast call for the Wheel of Wonder!<\/strong>\u201d shouted a voice from atop a rickety scaffolding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Naturally, they had to ride it.
All of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The moment they were strapped in, the whole thing lurched<\/em> into motion like a dying banshee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah: \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s supposed to lean like this.\u201d
Rico: \u201cI think I can see the past.\u201d
Gabriel (arms raised): \u201cI REGRET NOTHING.\u201d
Maya: \u201cIf we die, I\u2019m going to haunt whoever suggested this.\u201d
Cassie: \u201cThat was Gabriel.\u201d
Mark: \u201cFigures.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the top of the spin, the ride groaned, shuddered\u2014
\u2014and then stopped.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mid-air.
Forty feet up.
In silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah: \u201cI\u2019m never eating cotton candy again.\u201d
Gabriel: \u201cI think this is how I unlock my final form.\u201d
Thane (claws gripping the safety bar): \u201cWhen we get down, I am burning this carnival to the ground.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Back on solid ground, the band stumbled off the ride like baby deer.
Mark\u2019s fur was windblown. Thane looked like he\u2019d fought God.
Cassie threw up behind the churro stand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel, still clutching the SpongeBob prize someone did<\/em> give him, raised a clawed hand.
\u201cWorth it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane grabbed him by the neck scruff. \u201cYou\u2019re sleeping outside tonight.\u201d
Gabriel grinned. \u201cUnder the stars. With my SpongeBob.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Rico: \u201cThat was the dumbest thing we\u2019ve ever done.\u201d
Jonah: \u201cNo. That birthday party gig still wins.\u201d
Maya: \u201cAt least this one didn\u2019t end in cake and crying.\u201d
Cassie: \u201c…Speak for yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane, slumped behind the wheel, muttered to no one in particular:
\u201cNext detour, I\u2019m putting myself<\/em> in a crate and mailing me home.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\ud83c\udfaa Somewhere Outside Texarkana, Population: Unsettled The sign came out of nowhere.A cracked wooden billboard, lit by a single flickering bulb, perched at a crooked angle beside the highway: \u201cSPINDLE’S WHIRL-O-RAMA CARNIVAL! One Night Only! FUN! FOOD! FERAL FRIENDS?\u201d \u201cDid that sign just say feral friends?\u201d Jonah asked from the back, peering between seats.Gabriel, slurping […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=368"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3239,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions\/3239"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}