{"id":372,"date":"2023-06-24T01:00:49","date_gmt":"2023-06-24T06:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/?p=372"},"modified":"2024-02-10T10:23:02","modified_gmt":"2024-02-10T16:23:02","slug":"a-paranormal-convention-gig-gone-wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/a-paranormal-convention-gig-gone-wrong\/","title":{"rendered":"A Paranormal Convention Gig Gone Wrong"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The GPS brought them to a squat, stucco building labeled “Mid-Oklahoma Conference Center & Banquet Hall”<\/strong>, which was generously optimistic. Half the letters on the sign were missing. The parking lot was full of minivans, bumper stickers that said \u201cASK ME ABOUT MY ORB PHOTOS,\u201d and one rusted-out hearse painted with a wolf howling at three different moons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane stared out the van window, unblinking. \u201cWe\u2019ve been tricked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel grinned. \u201cWe\u2019ve been invited to destiny.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah yawned. \u201cPlease let this be a vampire LARP thing. I brought my cloak this time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The banner above the entrance read:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201c3rd Annual Paranormal Midwest Con: Energy, Entities, & Enlightenment!\u201d<\/strong><\/em>
Starring: Feral Eclipse \u2013 Live Ritual Sound Journey<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Maya\u2019s voice was dangerously flat. \u201c…What the hell is a ritual sound journey?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie, peeking at the event flyer someone handed her, raised a brow. \u201cApparently we\u2019re headlining between \u2018Aura Cleansing with Dr. Phaedra\u2019 and \u2018Bigfoot Roundtable: Why He\u2019s Real and Probably Sad.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They walked inside like they were entering a crime scene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The lobby smelled like sage, old carpet, and stale cinnamon rolls. People in wizard hats mingled with folks in alien t-shirts and one man in a full plague doctor costume. A nearby booth had a banner: \u201cPast Life Regression While You Wait.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark looked around with deadpan calm. \u201cI swear to the moon, if someone tries to smudge me with a turkey feather, I\u2019m lighting the whole booth on fire.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman with eight crystal necklaces stopped Gabriel immediately. \u201cYou\u2019re glowing. I mean, really glowing.<\/em> Your aura is vibrating like a microwave.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel, already caffeinated beyond reason, lit up. \u201cThanks! I had three espresso shots and a chocolate donut shaped like a pentagram!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie kept getting mistaken for an actual medium.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonah accidentally walked into a ghost photography slideshow and got stuck between two guys arguing about EMF interference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane? Thane was trying to find the event coordinator. The only \u201cstaff\u201d he managed to locate was a guy in a bathrobe who claimed the band\u2019s performance needed to \u201cmatch the resonance frequency of the collective astral field.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you have a rider?\u201d the guy asked, eyes wild with chaotic intent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane stared at him, dead inside. \u201cYeah. We emailed it. Twice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, right. Uh\u2026 we don\u2019t really do paperwork. We align our logistics through crystal resonance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel appeared behind Thane, coffee in hand, barely suppressing a grin. \u201cPerfect. Our lighting rig\u2019s calibrated to shatter quartz.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane turned and walked away without another word, muttering, \u201cI hate everything about this gig.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udd2e The Show<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Their stage was a repurposed ballroom, complete with folding chairs, a disco ball, and one massive dreamcatcher hanging behind the band logo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before the set, someone handed Thane a \u201cblessed quartz triangle\u201d and asked him to place it near the subwoofer to \u201cchannel ancestral frequencies.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He nearly ate it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then the lights dimmed. The fog machine\u2014already rigged up by Mark\u2014hissed to life. The band took their places.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel leaned into the mic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you ready to transcend?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The audience erupted into whoops, howls, and one person yelling, \u201cCHANNEL THE WOLF GOD!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They started playing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was thunderous. Wild. Ferocious. The kind of show that makes walls shake and ancestors weep. The crowd didn\u2019t mosh\u2014they vibrated.<\/em> Some people cried. One woman screamed she saw a vision of her dog reincarnated as a bass guitar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Midway through the second song, someone tossed a crystal at the stage and Gabriel caught it without missing a note. \u201cA gift from the spirits,\u201d he said, dead serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By the end, Gabriel was soaked in sweat, the room reeked of incense and fog fluid, and Mark was holding up a power strip like a talisman against whatever might try to talk to him next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Aftermath<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As they loaded out, a man in a lab coat gave Jonah a handmade award that read:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“Best Rhythmic Portal Opening 2025”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Jonah: \u201cI\u2019m putting this on my r\u00e9sum\u00e9.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rico found a zine titled \u201cWerewolf Soulmates & the 5th Dimension\u201d featuring artwork suspiciously similar to Gabriel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maya was glaring at someone trying to hand her a pamphlet about lycanthropy as spiritual awakening. \u201cDo I look<\/em> like I need awakening?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel hugged three people goodbye and was offered a speaking slot next year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cassie handed Thane a souvenir T-shirt:
\u201cI Played a Paranormal Convention and All I Got Was Possessed (by Riffs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane didn\u2019t speak for 20 minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they finally got back in the van, Mark turned to him and said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAt least no one tried to baptize us this time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane nodded. \u201c…We are never doing that again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabriel: \u201cThey want us back next year.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thane didn\u2019t even flinch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The GPS brought them to a squat, stucco building labeled “Mid-Oklahoma Conference Center & Banquet Hall”, which was generously optimistic. Half the letters on the sign were missing. The parking lot was full of minivans, bumper stickers that said \u201cASK ME ABOUT MY ORB PHOTOS,\u201d and one rusted-out hearse painted with a wolf howling at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-372","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=372"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3237,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372\/revisions\/3237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=372"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=372"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}