The alarm went off at 4:45 AM.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thane nearly tore it off the wall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gabriel sat straight up in his motel bed like a horror movie jump-scare. \u201cTV TIME! I need coffee, pants, and maybe a prayer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cassie groaned into her pillow. \u201cYou\u2019d better be joking about the pants.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By 5:15, the Feral Eclipse crew looked\u2026 less than glamorous. Gabriel was trying to slick back his fur with hotel conditioner. Thane was in full silent murder-mode. Mark had sunglasses on indoors. Jonah wore one sock and a hoodie that said “Don\u2019t Talk to Me Until the Encore.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n They piled into the van, half-dead. The streets were still dark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The TV station looked like it had been built inside a former dentist\u2019s office. Their green room was actually a beige hallway with a vending machine and a fake plant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A perky intern handed them clip-on mics and a printout that said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWELCOME LOCAL ACOUSTIC ROCK BAND \u2018FERRET ECSTASY\u2019!!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Maya: \u201cI\u2019m burning this place down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel: \u201cNo no no. We lean in.<\/em> We\u2019re Ferret Ecstasy now. This is our life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie wheezed. Jonah tried to make a new logo on a napkin. It involved whiskers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The host\u2014Cheryl With a C\u2014was a woman in a fuchsia blazer with energy levels illegal before sunrise. She met them in the studio with an aggressive handshake and a high-pitched squeal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou guys are the wolfboys, right? You look so REAL!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane: \u201cWe are<\/em> real.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheryl blinked. \u201c…Okay! Love the commitment!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The segment started with cheerful jazz. The camera panned to Cheryl, smiling like a cartoon news anchor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWelcome back to Good Morning Corner County<\/em>! Today we have a treat for you\u2014joining us is a band called Ferret\u2014sorry, Feral<\/em> Eclipse!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The band, all squeezed onto a couch meant for three people, nodded in varying degrees of discomfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheryl turned to Thane. \u201cSo, you\u2019re the lead singer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie coughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo,\u201d Thane said, voice flat. \u201cSound tech. I make the chaos audible.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh!\u201d She turned to Cassie. \u201cThen you\u2019re<\/em> the lead singer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie gave her best fake smile. \u201cAccidentally, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheryl beamed. \u201cAnd you all dress like this for every<\/em> show?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel leaned in, still caffeinating. \u201cMa\u2019am, this is<\/em> us. We don\u2019t dress up. We dress down for breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheryl did not know how to respond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then came the \u201clive performance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They were given exactly one powered speaker, two clip-on mics, and a guitar amp the size of a lunchbox.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maya strummed once. The speaker made a phhhfft<\/em> noise. Jonah tapped a practice pad. Gabriel tried to hit a bass note, but the mic clipped so hard it sounded like a bear coughing underwater.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane gave up and plugged one thing directly into the camera guy\u2019s headphone jack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie leaned forward, grinning like she\u2019d already accepted her fate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis one\u2019s called Howlcore Breakfast.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was the messiest, weirdest, quietest rendition of their usual chaos ever performed. Mark tried to hit the lights for a little flare and accidentally turned off the teleprompter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The host read closing remarks from memory while the credits rolled\u2014off-beat and off-kilter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat was Ferret Eclipse<\/em>, everybody. Be sure to check them out at the Creech County Fair Battle of the Bands<\/em> later this week! Stay tuned for local gardening tips and a segment on haunted doll repair!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n As soon as the cameras cut off, the band fled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jonah: \u201cDid we just\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel: \u201cYes. Yes we did.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie: \u201cI am never waking up before 9 AM again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mark, deadpan from the back: \u201cWe survived. But the name Ferret Ecstasy will haunt us forever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane rubbed his eyes. \u201cSomeone find that napkin Jonah drew on. That\u2019s our next shirt design.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The alarm went off at 4:45 AM. Thane nearly tore it off the wall. Gabriel sat straight up in his motel bed like a horror movie jump-scare. \u201cTV TIME! I need coffee, pants, and maybe a prayer.\u201d Cassie groaned into her pillow. \u201cYou\u2019d better be joking about the pants.\u201d By 5:15, the Feral Eclipse crew […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-374","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/374","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=374"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/374\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3236,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/374\/revisions\/3236"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=374"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=374"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=374"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n\ud83c\udfa4 \u201cLive on Channel 9 \u2013 Wake Up, Waffles, and Werewolves!\u201d<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n\n\n\nEveryone collapsed into the seats.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n