They were supposed to be grabbing coffee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s it. Just coffee. One calm morning, no crowds, no chaos \u2014 just Thane, Gabriel, and Mark ducking into a hip little indie shop called The Howling Bean<\/em> (yes, they picked it for the name), trying to exist like normal people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It lasted all of three minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane had just gotten the lid on Gabriel\u2019s triple-shot macadamia cold brew when someone outside shrieked, \u201cOH MY GOD IT\u2019S THEM!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane tensed. Mark sighed. Gabriel turned with a hopeful grin. \u201cMaybe it\u2019s a nice<\/em> shriek this time?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because barreling down the sidewalk was a shirtless guy in neon green body paint, wearing paper m\u00e2ch\u00e9 wolf ears and dragging behind him a banner that read \u201cMOUNT ME, GABRIEL!\u201d<\/strong> in hand-scrawled glitter paint.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mark blinked. \u201cWhat the actual\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWOLF BOMB!\u201d the fan shouted, launching himself off a sidewalk planter toward the caf\u00e9 window like it was a wrestling ring ropes setup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNOPE!<\/em>\u201d Thane shouted, lunging forward with speed only a werewolf could pull off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He caught the guy midair in a full-claw chest grab and planted<\/em> him into the pavement just inches from the front window \u2014 not hard enough to hurt him, but firmly enough<\/em> to break the momentum and his dignity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The guy wheezed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The entire caf\u00e9 froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel stepped up beside Thane, coffee in one hand, shaking his head with mock pity. \u201cYou really committed to the bit, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTh-thought you\u2019d be impressed\u2026\u201d the guy croaked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, I\u2019m impressed,\u201d Gabriel said. \u201cBut mostly by Thane\u2019s ability to not yeet you into the next zip code.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Within hours, the incident was everywhere<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udcf8 A customer inside had caught the whole thing on video and uploaded it under the title: \ud83e\uddc3 A smoothie brand quote-tweeted it and offered Thane a sponsorship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udcfa TMZ tried to run it as \u201cFeral Eclipse Fan Violence Scandal\u201d \u2014 until a follow-up clip showed Gabriel helping the guy up and giving him a fist bump, followed by Thane offering to pay for his hospital bill (which turned out to be just a scraped elbow and bruised pride).<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udc3a Fan art of Yeetwolf Thane<\/em> became a meme within the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Back in the van that night, Mark was cackling while watching one of the animated re-creations on his tablet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis one\u2019s got you doing a spinning suplex,\u201d he said to Thane. \u201cWith glitter trails.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel leaned against Thane\u2019s shoulder, laughing. \u201cYou\u2019re a legend now, my wolf. Hope you’re ready for more acrobatics.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane groaned and muttered into his claws. \u201cNext time I\u2019m bringing a net.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" They were supposed to be grabbing coffee. That\u2019s it. Just coffee. One calm morning, no crowds, no chaos \u2014 just Thane, Gabriel, and Mark ducking into a hip little indie shop called The Howling Bean (yes, they picked it for the name), trying to exist like normal people. It lasted all of three minutes. Thane […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-521","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/521","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=521"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/521\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3182,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/521\/revisions\/3182"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=521"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=521"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=521"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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\u201cWerewolf Body Slam: Feral Eclipse Fan Tries To Impress Gabriel, Gets Yeeted By Security Bandmate\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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