The tour bus rumbled into the parking lot of Sooner Hills Mall, a mid-sized two-story retail center tucked into a suburb just outside Oklahoma City. It wasn\u2019t the fanciest stop on tour \u2014 but that was exactly the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Diesel killed the engine and turned around in the captain\u2019s chair. \u201cAlright, wolves. You\u2019ve got one hour before someone clocks you and the whole damn food court turns into a furry fan convention.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gabriel was already half-shoving a hoodie over his ears. \u201cChallenge accepted.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Inside the bus, chaos unfolded as each member of the crew assembled their terrible<\/em> disguises. Rico wore aviator sunglasses and a \u201cBass Dads Do It Deeper\u201d shirt. Jonah added a fake mustache so crooked it looked like it had been drawn on with eyeliner during a moving vehicle. Maya just threw on a poncho and dared anyone to question her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie, meanwhile, slipped on oversized sunglasses and declared she was incognito as \u201cNot Beyonc\u00e9.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane, standing near the front mirror with a grimace, tugged on a pair of huge gray Keen Voyageur boots and muttered, \u201cThis feels unnatural. Why are my claws in prison.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou look great, my wolf,\u201d Gabriel growled from behind his shades. \u201cVery tourist-casual elder millennial<\/em>. Very ‘I hike on weekends and complain about parking apps.’\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSay that again and I\u2019ll rewire your bass with catgut.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once inside the mall, they tried to split into pairs\u2014Thane with Gabriel, Mark with Jonah, Rico with Maya, Cassie solo. The plan was to blend in, pick up some new socks and maybe some bubble tea, and absolutely not<\/em> get recognized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For exactly seven minutes, it worked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane and Gabriel were admiring a LEGO display at a toy store when a kid tugged on his mom\u2019s sleeve and whispered, \u201cMom\u2026 that\u2019s the werewolf with the cable coil!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel turned just enough to glance at Thane, who was frozen mid-step like a brown-furred deer in headlights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh no.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Across the food court, Mark squinted from behind his reader glasses and nudged Jonah. \u201cTold you this was a dumb plan.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Within minutes, the group had gathered near the Cinnabon as more fans began circling like sharks. Some were cautious\u2014snapping pics from behind sunglasses or pretending to browse\u2014but others straight-up sprinted toward them with phones out and Sharpies in hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jonah took off his mustache and yelled, \u201cEVERY WOLF FOR HIMSELF!\u201d before bolting toward the pretzel stand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cassie ducked behind a kiosk shouting \u201cI am not affiliated with these creatures!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mark just stood there, arms crossed, quietly watching as mall security rolled up\u2014and then gave the wolves a knowing nod.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBack door\u2019s open,\u201d the guard muttered. \u201cGo. Now. But grab me a signed CD before you bounce.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Back on the bus, everyone collapsed into seats or bunks, breathing hard from laughter and exertion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thane yanked the boots off with a satisfying grunt. \u201cNever again. I\u2019m free.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gabriel leaned against him with a smirk. \u201cYou say that, but admit it\u2026 you kinda rocked the suburban dad look.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re lucky I didn\u2019t leave you in the LEGO aisle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jonah, still panting from his mad sprint, flopped into his bunk. \u201cOkay, next time we do this\u2014we try disguises that don\u2019t<\/em> look like a bad Halloween party.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mark, deadpan: \u201cNext time, we don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And from the back of the bus, Diesel\u2019s voice echoed forward with a laugh: \u201cI told<\/em> you wolves can\u2019t go unnoticed. Y\u2019all are like glitter in a carpet.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The tour bus rumbled into the parking lot of Sooner Hills Mall, a mid-sized two-story retail center tucked into a suburb just outside Oklahoma City. It wasn\u2019t the fanciest stop on tour \u2014 but that was exactly the point. Diesel killed the engine and turned around in the captain\u2019s chair. \u201cAlright, wolves. You\u2019ve got one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-645","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tour-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=645"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3126,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645\/revisions\/3126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/threewerewolves.com\/tourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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